I spent a lot of time by myself in the last few weeks, and enjoyed the time to think. And I found something that I had been missing. I don't know what to call it but I will try to explain: I have been searching for something for many years, some complementary attitude, trait, or way of being, that I did not possess myself. I have tried to find this missing piece in other people, but it has never worked. I thought that I needed someone else to provide this missing piece for me. Now I have found it at last in myself. What is it? A quality of contentment, or maybe peace, calmness, completeness, or maybe it is just the recognition that I can be complete just as I am.
Yesterday, while in a yoga class in Seattle with my favorite teacher, my mind took this idea one step further. Because I am no longer searching for something I need, because I no longer need it, because I have it in myself, now I feel as though I have something to offer. Something real to give to my friends, family, colleagues, and people who pass through or remain in my world.
More I cannot articulate right now, but it is an encompassing feeling.
And on a less-serious note, I have the next trip in the planning stages: Russia 2008! I shall watch my friends row in the 2008 Olympic Games and then take the Trans-Siberian Railway to Moscow and St. Petersburg. The dogs will hold down the fort Stateside for this trip, which will only be 2 weeks, as I probably can't get any more time than that off from my first real job at the KCPAO!!
Go live an adventure!